Properly utilizing English class.

Sometimes I make excuses for things I do not know. Phrases, words, and concepts pop up here and there that have escaped me thus far. It does not happen often, and I am usually quick to claim, “I’m sorry, I don’t know”, or make an excuse like “I’m not an academic, blah, blah, blah…” My business coach Sarah tries to get me to stop covering up for myself. I do not feel I am putting myself down but rather just trying to speak and act honestly.

I was a good student until springtime of the 7th grade. That is when I started my audacious thirteen-year drug addiction that would later try to wrestle my life away from me, twice. I let the drugs take over and I no longer applied myself, gave a fuck, or even showed up for school most of the time. I was shocked it took so long but by the time I was 16, during my junior year of high school, the assistant principal and I convinced my dad to sign me out of the school system forever. I would from then on be tagged as a high school dropout for the rest of my life and void of a single college class credit.

To this day, I have no idea what an adjective or adverb is. I would only be guessing if I tried to define “preposition”. And conjunction, no earthly idea, except that the School House Rock cartoons from my youth told me it was associated with some sort of junction functionality. “Conjunction-Junction, what’s your function?”, I never stuck around for the punchline; no clue. Nor do I believe I necessarily need to know these things. I have Google and Grammarly as my tutors and editors for goodness sake. Besides, I have better grammar than several of the MBAs I have hired in my lifetime to work for me, and I am painfully attentive to a few other details as well.

I am vigilantly mindful of the correct spelling of people’s names. I still chuckle as friends I have known for years misspell my name, Rodger. There is no “d” here in this BirdHouse. I do not think I have ever misused you are, your, you’re, they are, there, their, or they’re. Truthfully, I am certain I have never once misused those words.

I developed a ridiculous conscience somewhere along the way and despite ignoring my English teachers entirely from day one, I have otherwise seemed to do ok. I guess I was enough of a long-haired punk in school that no wanted to waste their time on me. I did fail Geometry but after meeting a teacher in summer school who invested the time to explain the why and the how of the math to me, I latched on quickly and easily passed. My English teachers just ignored me, so that class was always properly utilized to catch up on my sleep.

Oh sure, I had fun in the technical classes that allowed for some creativity, and my handwriting rivals any old-school architect but I was attending a high-end college prep engineering high school and they just had no patience for me.  

My old boss John praised me for being both a 30,000-foot strategic thinker and also a details guy, claiming that most people are usually one or the other, not both. I never gave thought to any of it, I was just doing stuff the way I thought it should be done.  

I am 159,798 words into writing my life memoir to my two children, Travis and Lauren. I back up from my day-to-day activities quite often and look to see what I might be missing. I think big and I think small, just like my boss John once described. At a time that seemed to be better than any other time to do it, I turned off the paycheck pipeline earlier this year and sat down to construct a rather unique Christmas present for my kids. My published stories, my lessons learned, and my carefully constructed life tools are what will be wrapped under the tree this year.

My friend Ann here in Madison is the best world-class editor / thought and theory layout director I have ever met or heard of. My friend Joe in Vermont has published more than a dozen books as well as countless articles and formal public documents. My friend Heath in New Zealand is one of the greatest adventurers I have ever met and is currently writing a book about his travels. My old roommate Philipp from Baltimore followed in my footsteps and dropped out of high school himself, only to become an author of two successful novels, a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, then created and produced his own TV show on AMC.

Who is helping me write my life story? I would have chosen Ann for sure because there would be no one better to do it. I would have asked Joe for help too because he is such a pro with his writing. I might have asked Philipp to craft the introduction if I were pitching it to a publisher.

But no, this is all me, with a little help from my tutors Google and Grammarly because I’m just pitching it to the Christmas Tree on December 25th, not to a publisher. I will also have an early chapter of forewords, a collection of maybe eight or nine short works from my friends who will help to frame my Christmas effort for my kids.

Truth be told, I might begin editing down the original kids' version right after Christmas, trying to go to market with a bigger self-help consumer piece in 2021. In which case, I would call Ann and Joe for help and I would insist to pay them because they are both so good and also so busy. I am not sure Philipp would have the time to craft any forewords but I might attempt.

For my kids, I want this, my life’s work, to be in my words, using my 10th-grade grammar, correct or not. I have done zero research on how to format a book, nor will I. There have been no writing workshops and no “learn to write a million-dollar bestseller for only $59.99” apps. I will only lean on the learnings from my longtime-past creative writing teacher from the 6th and 7th grades, who taught me to dream wildly and write from my heart.

And then, I will be remaining truthful to myself, just doing stuff the way I think it should be done and leaving my legacy behind, as it was meant to be.  

*Stay tuned for for my Lies between Us Roger Ray Bird podcast episode #9, the continuation and conclusion of my chat with co-host Dennis Dodson after his 2,500-mile fundraiser bike trip to DC from Santa Fe. I hope to have episode #9 published tomorrow or Saturday.

*I am giddy to also announce that I just recorded podcast episode #10 with superstar co-host John Stamstad, the most extreme and accomplished ultra-marathon athletes I know. My talk with John was incredible and I did not want the conversation to end. I will begin editing of that episode with John next and hope to have it published within two weeks from now. John has an amazing story and reveals some things that many people do not know. It is going to be an amazing episode and John also is writing a book, hoping have his life story published and on book store shelves in 2021.

~ Word up; Bird out.